Your Boss Lies (Ouch)

What To Do When 

Your Boss Lies To You.

(Ouch.)

“I'm not upset that you lied to me.

I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.” 

― Friedrich Nietzsche

Whatever challenge you're having with your boss in a given moment always seems like the BIGGEST challenge of all. He's incompetent. She doesn't get it. He's arrogant and insensitive. She's unfair. He doesn't like me. She lacks integrity. He doesn't keep commitments. These are all challenges to be sure. In my opinion, the biggest challenge is when your boss lies to you... not just once, but as part of a repeated pattern.

Why is this so hard?  Because you never know what to believe. You're standing on shifting sand in every moment of every conversation. You can't trust your boss's direction or support. Worse yet, it can impact how others perceive you by association.

In today's Coach on Call, we're talking about what to do when your boss lies to you.

Here's the Q:

"What do you do if your boss lies straight to your face? She does it all the time and makes me look like an idiot sometimes. She makes it seem kind of like I'm the liar or we had a "misunderstanding." I'm frustrated, but I like my job. I don't want to quit. I'm not sure what to do?"

You always have options, but sometimes only one option really makes the most sense. 

Let's dig in.

Coach on Call

Soul For Breakfast:

Coach on Call - New!

Who do you go to for advice

when you need fresh perspective?

If you're lucky, you have a few people in your life that you trust completely. People who support you and defend you. People who are smart and give sound and thoughtful advice. People who tell you the truth even when you don't want to hear it.

If you're really lucky, those same people have experience in the business world. They understand the challenges you face and how complex the world at work has become. They share practical advice when you're stuck, help you make tough decisions, and listen as you vent about challenges with co-workers.

What I hear from my clients is that even if they feel lucky to have people who love and support them, they don't always feel comfortable asking friends, family, or co-workers for advice. They don't necessarily want to bear their soul about things that aren't going well. Most of their loved ones can't provide the type of perspective they need. It's comforting to know I can look out for their interests without bias or judgment. 

Today I introduce a new feature for this column called Coach on Call. I've been writing this column for eighteen months, sharing my insights and providing my perspective on a wide variety of topics. I've posted over 50 articles (wow).  I sincerely hope they've made a difference and provided you with support and guidance. 

With the Coach on Call feature, I'll answer some of your questions here on the website. I'm excited to hear what's on your mind. I'm here to help.

How it works

1.  Start by clicking the Read More button below (if you don't yet see #2).

Velvet Hammer

The Velvet Hammer:

A Quick Study In Getting What You Want

You can force your will on others,
 or leave it all to luck,

but why do that when you can

 use a velvet hammer instead?

Yes, the Velvet Hammer is the name of a drink. No, that's not what I'm suggesting you use to get what you want at work. Although some days, it might help. What I'm referring to here is the ability to consistently get what you want in a way that feels good to the other people involved.

We've all worked with people who hammer their way through the day, pushing others around and bullying them to their point of view. They may get their way more times than not, but if you're on the receiving end of their antics, you aren't a fan. It's like standing in front of a jackhammer. At the opposite extreme are the people who don't speak up and just accept things as they are without ever trying to get what they really want.

Sometimes you need to be firm - a hammer - to get what you want. By far, your best approach is almost always to be a velvet hammer. Here are three easy ways to pull it off and get what you want more often.

ABC's of Success

An Expert Opinion:

Success in the Workplace

Is As Simple As A-B-C

Sometimes the simplest of concepts

delivers the biggest bang for our attention buck.

In this month's Expert Opinion, I share an Edgy Conversations article written by consultant Dan Waldschmidt about success. There are so many ways to look at success in the workplace. Most people start with measures of status: the prestige of a title, rapid advancement, and financial reward. If you're a reader of this column, you know I lean toward a broad view of success that considers who you are, how you are, what you do, and what you attain.

What I like about Dan's article is that it covers a lot of ground with very few words. These ideas can create big changes in your life - not just at work, but also at home. Even better, when you stack them up into this kind of A-Z list... you have a roadmap for how to live a good life. Success in the traditional view is just the icing on the cake.

You know how much I love sharing what I love, so here you have it. 

Check it out and let me know what you think.